Not much happening in the land of bed rest. As I'm sure everyone can imagine its a very boring way to spend your days when you are used to being fairly active. Its been almost 6 weeks of bedrest and I've only been out of the house a handful of times. The isolation and the dependence on others has been most difficult. I depend on Kevin and family members to prepare all my meals, clean the house, do our Christmas shopping, the list just goes on and on.
I think what is most disheartening is that I feel cheated. I was enjoying this pregnancy so much, despite the aches and pains I absolutely LOVED being pregnant. I was learning so much about myself during this process and I feel like that has all come to a hault. Instead of enjoying myself as I was, I now worry constantly about what will happen if the boys come prematurely, as it is more likely than not that they will. I research information about their time spent at the NICU, the vast array of medical obstacles they may face and long term effects that could plague them as they grow and develop. Everyone tells me not to do that, but I feel a obligation to learn as much as I can so that when the time comes Kevin and I are prepared and can make the most educated decsions possible if needed. I keep reminding myself that a year ago I would have done ANYTHING to be in the position I am in right now despite these complications and that helps me get through the tough emotional times.
I asked the dr. why I am experiencing the complications that I have. He said it is very simple, my uterus has never been stretched before and with twins it measures 7 weeks larger than it would if I were only carrying one. So my uterus thinks I'm nearly 37 weeks pregnant and my body is just naturally doing what it should be. My cervix shortened to prepare for delivery, contractions started to develop, and if I were 37 weeks pregnant that is exactly what should be happening. The problem is I'm only 29 and half weeks pregnant.