Wednesday, April 25, 2012

You can't put a number on it

I guess I've really been away too long.  Logged onto blogger, only to find out everything has changed.  Life slows down for no one I guess.  Sorta fitting though as my thoughts lately have been focused on how the past five years we've enjoyed this sort of slow paced life the boys have instilled on us.

As the end of the school year draws to a close, so does this chapter in our lives.  It was decided a few months ago in the school district I work in and the one the will boys attend, that next year the schools will implement a full day of Kindergarten for all students.  I knew it was a possibility, but I really didn't give it serious thought.  There's been talk of a full day program for years and it hadn't happened...yet.  I was expecting to continue on with my part time schedule and spend precious weekday time with my bubbies but that is no longer the case.  My little guys will be shipped off to school, 5 days a week all day long.  The prospect of that gives me momma anxiety. 

I know it's legal, I understand it is what everyone else is doing, but us?  We can't do that, we've never spent that kind of time away from each other.  I don't want to give up our stolen moments during the week, while everyone else is doing the grind and we are baking, meeting Daddy for lunch, blowing bubbles, and playing in the tub till their little fingers turn to raisins.  I don't want to jump back in to the rat race, I like it here in my own little world where the clock dictates nothing.  I'm not ready to hand them over and I'm certainly not ready to not be the most influential person in their lives. 

This phase of life will be over soon.  I'll do my best to keep outside distractions to a minimum and to maintain the slow pace of life that we enjoy now.  I don't want to get sucked into a monotonous routine. I want to keep enjoying all the precious moments that come with parenting little ones at this age.  That is to be my focus, not work, cleaning, and meal planning.

Just out of curiousity, I did the math the other day on approximately how much money we gave up by me staying home for a couple of years and then working part time.  It was a quarter of a million dollars.  Know my first thought? You could offer me a million dollars for that time and there is no way I would trade it for the world.  No batting of an eyelash, no regrets just immense gratitude that we were able to it.  It was worth every bit of a quarter of a million dollars and more so.

1 comment:

Brent and Heather Harbin said...

I agree! You'll never get those babies back and I'd go in debt for the rest of my life to have had those years. We are really lucky, Tammy. You and I know it more than most moms. Miracles.

Next year, the boys will do great!! It will be an adjustment, but it's neat to see them spread their wings and bloom into the people they were created to be too. They have been so lucky to have you!