Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Mr. Bear is back and other ramblings

We found Mr. Bear. Anderson was so delighted to find him that he actually welled up with happy tears. He was hugging him so tight and telling him "I found you, I love you!". I was so relieved.

I've been feeling pretty stressed lately....lots going on. First and foremost Anderson's tooth has me on complete tilt. He has been on antibiotics for over 3 weeks now, was tortured with a double root canal and he still has an abscess. He goes back on Friday for a follow-up and either way we've got nothing but bad news coming. I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that either A they continue him on MORE antibiotics which scares the heck out of me, when is enough enough. Or B they want to pull the tooth. I'm scared, what if this infection worsens and turns very serious. What if his permanent teeth are in some sort of danger and how oh how will I ever be able to bring my baby back to the dentist for another frightening procedure. I HATE THIS and just want some kind of resolution.

Another problem we've been dealing with is the expulsion of our family from our pediatrician's office. Yes, we were told that we were no longer welcome because of our decision to delay vaccinations. This is the same dr's office I went to as a child so I'm pretty comfortable there. The boys were vaccinated on schedule for the first 6 months of life and after much research and soul searching we decided (not lightly by any means) that we would delay vaccinations till we felt more comfortable. Our pediatrician's office has always given us a hard time about it, but we felt it was the best decision for our children. When we took the boys to their 2 year well visit we decided that we would start back up the vaccinations but at a slow pace so that by school age they would be up to speed.

Apparently the office made a new policy for 2009 and said that anyone who refused or delayed vaccinations were no longer welcome as patients. Maybe I was in denial or naive to think they wouldn't really kick us out, but last week they called me at home and told me it was official and to come pick up our records. So for the past few days I've been trying to network with people and find a new home for us where we will feel comfortable but that is no easy task as most people feel very strongly about vaccinating. I've been lectured on the phone by nurses, found myself in unwelcomed debates and in a mess of tears. I really have no interest in debating with people why we have chosen the path that we have. No one is going to convince me otherwise just as I don't plan on trying to change anyone else's mind to the contrary.

One thing I have learned as a new mother is that decisions regarding our children are extremely personal. Since becoming a mom my judgement of other parents has gone out the window. Parenting is tough, making decisions about the lives of little human beings is tough. We all have to do what we have to do to make it through the day and its not up to me to decide for another family what is right or wrong for THEIR family. In the end I think I have found a good place for us. The boys will go in two weeks for a physical and to meet their new dr.

The other stress keeping me up at night is the possibility of a close family member losing their job. I don't want to go into details for the sake of privacy but its really got me in a funk. Living in Michigan means that most people you know either work in the auto industry or for a company that depends on the auto industry. Damn these auto companies, I wish they had done a better job keeping their employees safe.

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