Scare Momma

On Monday the four of us were eating lunch together at home. The boys wanted a "treat" so I gave them a pretzel rod. Just a little background, Jake stuffs his cheeks with food. He takes huge bites and often swallows with his little eyes popping out of his head which lets us know the huge clumps of food he is swallowing is not going down easy.

The pretzel rod was no different...I should've known better. He was facing me and I was watching him closely as I usually do. That is till he makes me so nervous that I sometimes have to tell Kevin to watch him and leave the table. Choking is a major fear in my life.

I have choked, like Heimlich choked several times in my life. There was the time I choked on a chicken nugget at school in the third grade. It was my first day at a new school, Valentine's Day to be exact. It was frightening to be a new student in an unfamiliar place not knowing anyone's name, unable to breathe, and not knowing who to ask for help. Then there was the time I choked at my 16th birthday celebration at Chi-chi's, that was graceful and pleasant. I'll have to stop there, I can feel my body tensing up.

So when Jake looked at me with fear and confusion in his eyes I knew all to well what was happening. He was choking on the damn pretzel. I simultaneously jumped out of my chair and yelled to Kevin (who was 12 inches away) that Jakey was choking. I ripped off his tray, threw it behind me on the table and knocked over a bottle of water. Kevin started to unbuckle him and as quickly as it started it was over, he let out a whimper and could breathe again. I then picked him up, held him close and told him that he scared Momma.

Since Monday he has been telling people "scare momma...choke". He was able to make such a scary and frantic situation into such a heart warming one for me. I love that he understood just how much his pain affected me.