And the obbessing continues...

2 weeks post op

Christmas Eve

Jake with his firetruck

Anderson and Grant

Opening the new kitchen

Anderson James

Jake and his new Duplo bus

Christmas Morning

Super Why Jake contemplating his next move

Anderson playing his new Go Fish game

Super Why brothers hanging out in Radiator Springs

Job well done Santa

Woo Hoo!

One week post op

I put some make up on for the first time today, from the looks of the picture I should have put it on my bruised neck as well. Kevin assures me I'm still very swollen and I hope he's right. I'm looking a bit more filled out than I expected. Smiling (half smiling I should say) takes a tremendous amount of muscle coordination and effort at this point, the things one takes for granted.

I'm really missing food. My pain has subsided to a tolerant level so now I'm torturing myself with thoughts of eating. Soup, nutritional shakes and oatmeal get real old real quick. I want my carbs...heavenly crunchy carbs! I've been desperately considering soaking my beloved cheez-its in a bowl of water so that I can just get one little taste. I feel like I could chew but the dr. has restricted me until further notice. I don't return for another check up till Dec. 30th.

Artsy Craftsy

Diligently working

Sweet Anders


Cheeky Jake

The boys spent some time painting and creating today. They made handprints last week so we painted them today. They enjoyed working on their creations and spent a fair amount of time on them. After painting the boys did some coloring. Little Anders James was being a stinker and kept pushing his crayons on the floor. After picking them up for the umpteenth time I finally scolded him telling him I was done picking them up. He responded in a very snarky way, "That's fine Mom, its fine, jeez.". I wasn't expecting that, it was as if the little stinker was just as annoyed with me as I was with him. The depth of these little minds ...

Before and After

Night before surgery

Today

I'm still extremely swollen, my chin looks a bit Jay Leno'ish, but I think you can see the difference. There is a lot of yellow bruising on my neck and I have a stitch on both sides of my jaw line as well. That's where the lovely screws were placed. I still have no feeling in my chin and very little in my bottom lip.

Getting by

It's been a rough couple of days but I feel like today we have turned a corner. I actually showered and was able to pull myself together enough to go out. We took the boys to Party City to pick out their Buzz Lightyear party supplies, which it turned out they didn't carry. That was a big disappointment, so we ended up ordering them on-line instead.

The past four days have been tough. My pain was increasing instead of decreasing and I wasn't tolerating the vicodin well. I hate taking meds and the vicodin was making me feel incredibly out of it and sleepy ALL day long. I switched over to motrin but that just doesn't seem to have enough kick in it so I've just been dealing with the pain the best I can. I saw the dr. today and he says everything looks good. It's just going to take a lot of time to return to normal.

My sweet boys are always asking me "do you feel better now Mom?". They know I'm not feeling like myself, and I've been doing my best to reassure them that despite the fact I can't smile, I'm doing just fine. Anderson and Jake are adjusting pretty good to sharing a room. Nap time has been rough and they party every night for at least an hour after we put them to bed but for the most part they have been sleeping through the night. My Grandma's condo has been comfortable for us and is working out quite well.

Kevin has been doing a great job juggling my care with taking care of the boys. The boys haven't exactly made it easy on him either. He was able to take the boys to see the Princess and the Frog yesterday so that I could have some quiet time and the boys could get out of the house a bit. After nap today we'll try and get them out again. I literally look like Rocky Dennis from the movie Mask with Cher. But at this point, I'm so sick of sitting around that I really don't give a crap. I'm going out.

Relieved

It's official. I'm now the proud owner of a chin and my bottom teeth are visible and line up nicely with my top. I'm pretty numb right now, can't feel my lower lip, chin or lower teeth. Feeling came back in my tongue pretty quickly. My muscles feel like they are spasming which is quite uncomfortable, like a charlie horse in your jaw. Lots of pressure and swelling, but not quite as bad as I anticipated.

My surgery was scheduled for one o'clock. The case in front of me was running late so I didn't go in till about two. I was given a med to relax before they wheeled me into the OR and I have no recollection about what happened after that. I was knocked out before I even left pre-op. When I woke up I was wrapped tightly around my entire head. I had ice packs, a splint in my mouth and was rubber banded shut. It was quite miserable. I was given a morphine button to control my pain and was wheeled back to my room around 6.

My surgeon said everything went better than expected. Surgery was anticipated to be around 3-3.5 hours but only took 2. My dr. said my bone was nice and dense making the procedure easier. My mother spent the night with me and what a godsend she was. I couldn't speak at ALL. I had to write everything down on paper and I had a very hard coming out of the anesthesia. I was groggy till about 11 p.m. when I finally started to come out of it. Unfortunately this is always the case for me.

Had it not been for my mom I would've had a very hard time surviving the night. She was at my bedside all night, holding my hand, suctioning my mouth, adjusting my mask, calling for the nurse to change my ice and taking me to the bathroom. Her presence made what could have been a very dicey situation much more tolerable. There is nothing like having your mother take care of you when you are sick. I will be forever grateful for her selflessness last night.

My dr. came into to see me around 7 this morning. He unwrapped me and cut my rubber bands so he could remove my splint. This was a huge relief in pressure and I was pleasantly surprised that I could actually open my mouth a bit. I began to drink water and juice through a syringe which helped with my severely dry mouth.

I was released this afternoon and am now resting at home. I have more flexible rubber bands keeping me closed and no splint. So far I have managed to drink some pureed Panera broccoli cheese soup through a syringe and a cup of ovaltine. I can drink from a cup, but it is just a bit too uncomfortable at this point. All of my incisions are on the inside of my mouth and the cup puts just a bit too much pressure on my incisions.

A big thanks to Grandma Merris and Auntie Sara as well for holding down the fort and keeping the boys entertained. We appreciate all your help with this and with the move. The two of you and Grandpa Denny went above and beyond to help us get the job done!

Our last evening on Muirfield

It was the worst of times, it was the best of times. I can without a doubt say that I saw my darkest days while living in this house. During that long two year struggle, there were times when I absolutely hated this house. It was empty of toys, laughter and the joys of a family. It was a constant reminder of what we were missing out on and what we thought we would never have. Eventually I kept the door to the intended nursery permanently closed.

Then thankfully the clouds parted and the brightest rays of sunshine entered my life and was blinding. Inside of the walls of this house my heart has been the fullest it ever has. The most beautiful moments of my life have happened here in this house. It is a bittersweet parting.

Update on the chaos

Here is the short of it:

We close on the house this Friday, we move Saturday and Sunday. My surgery is on Tuesday, I'll be home on Wednesday and then we all breathe a collective sigh of relief.

On the new home front, we signed a purchase agreement this past Saturday. We are in the process of getting the construction loan in place and a basement should be dug sometime in early January.

This is nuts.

Right around the corner

I love the way little Jakey is so standoffish with Santa. He just kinda mumbles and looks in the other direction. Anderson wasn't afraid to ask for the moon. You can tell he was a bit nervous though with all the wringing of his hands. They have asked to watch this video over and over and over.