Girl Disapearing

I used to know the girl in the picture. Today she seems so far from memory. She actually asked her husband to take this picture so that one day after she had children she could relish in her once flat stomach, beautiful tan and glamorous life. She spent her days on her. Painting her nails, styling her hair, shopping at will and planning her next social event. She took a lot for granted, saw the world through a very narrow lens, and didn't really quite know the meaning of selflessness.

Some days I miss her, I miss the simplicity of the life she led. I miss her sharp wit and creative thinking. I most definitely miss her flat stomach. I learned a lot from her as I began to realize how much she really didn't know. I'm not really sure when she left and I'm certain she's not coming back. For now I'll keep her memory tucked away, thank her for lessons learned and the perspective she has provided.

The new fence

Dad and his well intentioned helpers

Anderson in his self proclaimed "farm"

Anderson has a little pot

Jake loves his slide

Time for an update. We've had lots going on between our mini-vacay, fence installation, wedding anniversary and pending bathroom remodel. The weather is finally starting to turn and we've had a few nice days here and there. This weekend is supposed to be beautiful so Kevin and I are already making plans to make the most of it.

On Saturday we had a fence installed. Not because we are getting a dog...but because we have two active and curious toddlers. The boys listen fairly well, most of them time, but that just isn't often enough for me to feel comfortable letting them run and play with myself as the lone supervisor. I can out run one at a time, but if they head in different directions I can't snatch one up and run/carry him to grab the other. It is an expensive piece of mind but you really can't put a price on that. They love to be outside and I just can't imagine having to keep them in everyday this summer till Kevin gets home from work.

On Monday Kevin and I celebrated 8 years of marriage. We have been together 15 years in total. I love that we have grown up together and if I may brag just a little I think we have done a great job building our lives together. It's hard to remember times before Kevin, he has played such an integral part of my life. I learn daily from him, he makes me laugh, loves me despite my faults and is my best friend. I love him.

The bathroom remodel is indeed pending. We have been dealing with the insurance company, a fired agent handling our case, delays, two construction companies, and now a third quote. I naievely thought the cost would be about a quarter of what it actally is. I'm in sticker shock to say the least. Unfortunately we are not in much of a barginning position. The bathroom needs structural improvements due to a shotty job done by the builder. The house is only 6 years old, it infuriates me.

The boys are doing awesome. Both are speaking in 4-5 word sentences. Their memories are amazing...they keep asking to go back on vacation to the ferris wheel and waterfall. Right now they are obbessed with the movie "Cars". They are seasoned collectors of Mater, Lighting, Doc Hudson, Sally, etc... They spend their days reinacting the movie with their cars, chasing eachother around the house, and reading books with Mom. I love watching their bond with eachother develop and deepen. I can't get enough of them. By 7:30 I'm so ready to put them to bed and an hour later I want to wake them up so I can listen to their chatter and kiss on their little cheeks. I actually miss them while their sleeping.

They make us laugh daily with their random comments. Here are a few:

"Jake, you are making mom nervous"

"I'm scared of monsters"

"I eat losers for breakfast"

"What sound is that"

"I hear the ice cream truck"

SkyWheel

Niagara Falls 2009-Day 2

After a really long night the boys woke up bright and early for some fun at the waterpark. We started off in the toddler area. They had a water slide that the boys could go down on their own. They LOVED that. They went over and over and over again. Kevin and I were exhausted from helping them out of the pool, up the stairs and then racing to beat them back down to the bottom so we could catch them. After we tired from that we tried to convince them to try something else.

I asked someone working their if we could take them on any of the raft rides. She said that they were big enough for one of the family raft rides so we climbed hundreds of stair while holding them, waited close to 40 minutes for our turn, and then proceeded to take them on a terror ride. I ass*umed that it would be a pretty low key ride since she said 2 year olds could ride it but that was a bad assumption. We all loaded up in a circular raft, held on tight to the boys and scared the living daylights out of them. Their little faces were terrified as the raft swung from side to side up the sides of the water tube. It was fast, rough and way too much for little people. I felt horrible for subjecting them to that. They were so frozen in fear that they were trying to talk, cry, scream but couldn't. They were just holding on for dear life hoping it would end soon.
When we reached the bottom the guy that helped us out of the raft radioed up the operator not to let such little ones on the ride. Clearly a mistake had been made. Thankfully no one got hurt.

To settle things down a bit we headed for the lazy river and loaded the four of us up on a double raft. The boys layed across our chests and we did floating laps around the river. They enjoyed the robotic beavers, water pails that the dumped water on your head as you floated by and getting sprayed in the face by the fountains. It was by far my favorite moment with them. Our little family, holding each other close together and laughing in the delight of it all. I lost count of how many laps we took around the lazy river.

After our fun at the waterpark, we went back to our room for some lunch and relaxation. Anderson took a great nap and Jake continued on with his nap strike. We were scheduled to stay another night but with Anderson's croup and Jake's one man circus show we decided to finish our sight seeing and head home to sleep.

Our trip concluded with another trip to view the falls and to ride the SkyWheel. The skywheel was pretty cool. I must admit that I was a little nervous, thoughts of ferris wheel mishaps ran through the back of my mind. The view was incredible and the boys were in total awe. Jake had no fear and Anderson was a little nervous but enjoyed it nonetheless. After our SkyWheel ride we all shared a gigantic carmel sundae and headed home....where everyone slept peacefully.

More pics...

Skywheel in Niagara Falls

View of the Falls from the Skywheel

Daddy and Jake ready for the ride in the sky

Anderson and Mommy in the Skywheel

In the lobby of the Great Wolf Lodge

Niagara Falls 2009-Day One

How we roll

Getting ready for bedtime

Trying out their new "beds" earlier in the day

Mommy and Anderson in front of the Falls

This week we took the boys for a short trip to Niagara Falls. We stayed at the Great Wolf Lodge. It was our first "family vacation" and the boys first time ever sleeping anywhere besides their crib at home. It was quite a challenge to pack for despite the fact that we were only going for 2 days. I tried to think of everything we would need and also wanted to bring some familiar things for the boys to make their first night away from home a little easier.

The boys were an absolute dream in the car. On the way there we stopped for lunch and the boys were excitedly telling the people sitting next to us all about the "waterfalls" and "slides" they were going to see. After lunch Anderson fell asleep for a bit but Jake stayed up chatting with us and singing his favorite Sesame songs.

When we arrived we headed right to the Falls. The boys walked along the waterfront enjoying the view and new surroundings. They took a ride in the stroller after tiring out and enjoyed perusing Clifton Hill. We picked up an awesome and unique first birthday gift for our friend Baby Simon while we were there!

When it was time to check in we headed to the Great Wolf Lodge. It was an awesome place for the little people. The boys were in awe of the giant tree, bears and wolves that greet you in the lobby. They liked them but definitely at a comfortable distance. Our room was great, it was HUGE for a hotel room. We had a nice balcony, a sitting area which was the perfect place for the pack n plays, and a mini kitchen. Our package included meals at their resteraunts so we enjoyed a nice dinner. After dinner we took the boys to the arcade where poor Anders bit it and got terrible rug burn under his nose :(. It was going to take a lot more than that to slow him down in an arcade. The boys pushed buttons, loved all the lights and noise and we didn't even have to spend a dime.

We took the boys back up to the room and tried to stick to our bedtime routine. Jake had bigger ideas. He partied till the wee hours of the morning. Laughing, singing, talking to his brother, jumping up an down, it was his own little sleepover. Anderson finally fell alseep admist the one man circus show called Jake. We finally turned on the TV and it took about an hour and half of TV to put him to sleep. I was crawling out of my skin because we try and limit TV. About 3 hours later he woke again and started back up. Then Anderson started coughing and wheezing and I knew that he was sounding croupy. The boys seem to get croup every few months. It was pretty mild, but of course with that and Jake's antics and I didn't get any sleep. In total I would say that Anderson slept 7 hours and Jake about 4-5 hours. A typical night's sleep is about 12 hours for them both.

We had a wonderful first day in Niagara Falls. Bedtime was of course not very fun but we didn't expect too much for their first overnighter.

Happy Easter

The boys woke this morning to a trail of eggs that led from their rooms to their baskets. They enjoyed their new cars, jammies, books and trike horns from the Easter bunny. We made a huge brunch that included Blueberry french toast bake, mini egg/cheese/ham souffles, Easter bread, fruit salad, kielbasa and coffee cake. It was yummy! Jake stuffed himself with kielbasa and anything else we placed in front of him.

After my family left we put the boys down for a nap but just as every other holiday they are on a nap strike. We will be heading to Kevin's family soon and their meltdown should occur perfectly timed with dinner.

Visit with the Easter Rabbit

Jake (L) and Anderson (R)

Settling down after being given an egg to hold

Not quite sure about this pink bunny

Waiting outside to see the Easter Rabbit

We went to visit the Easter Rabbit today. Although we call him the Easter Bunny, Anderson insists he is the Easter Rabbit. They did much better than I expected, both sat and smiled. My batteries went dead after the first shot but luckily the Easter Bunny's assistant saved the day with some extra batteries for us to borrow.

Earlier today we went to the McBride's house to color eggs. The boys enjoyed dipping the eggs in the colors and we even sponge painted a few. After the egg coloring the boys enjoyed lunch with Grant and Claire. They got to sit in the big chairs and use big spoons. Good Times!

Marcus Guitar

My grandfather, Marcus Guitar, passed away this morning. We were with him till late last night, I was able to tell him goodbye and that I loved him. I will remember his curly hair, gentle spirit, stories of growing up on a farm and warm smile.

Future Post

Jan. 19, 2010

What was I thinking ?!?!? I should have never given those binkies back.

After posting last night I decided to give them back. I slipped into their rooms and laid their binkies next to their sweet sleeping faces. Anderson awoke singing the praises of his beloved binky. It took about 30 minutes before he asked to get out of bed. Jake's had somehow fallen onto the floor during the night so he didn't have his but when Anderson showed him he was excited that his friend had returned. I'm relieved to report that they went right to sleep at naptime and slept for 2 hours!! This evening they never made a peep so I'll assume they fell asleep pretty quickly.

Anderson had adjusted pretty well being without it. Had it not been for Jake's madness, he probably would have never seen it again. However I just couldn't give it back to Jake without feeling incredibly guilty. Anderson loved his too, it just didn't feel right. I'm always trying to balance the scales...it can be exhausting.

Today Kevin and I took the boys to the hospital to see my Grandfather. He has alzheimer's disease and is not doing well. He stopped eating this past weekend so he was hospitalized and it looks as though he is forgetting how to swallow. He will most likely be moved to hospice next week. Unfortunately it is difficult to tell if he really recognizes anyone anymore. Regardless we will all pull together, surround him with love, and honor the wonderful loving father and grandfather that he has been.

The binkies are stressing me out! BIGTIME! Herein lies the problem....

*Both boys are waking an hour earlier than normal. This means a 6 a.m wake-up call. We are usually up by six during the week anyways but we are both getting dressed and need that time! Kevin has to leave for work and I like to get dressed and ready before they wake so that is one less thing I need to juggle while they are awake and need Mommy.

*They usually wake around 7 and are content to hang out in their cribs for 20-25 minutes. Now once they are up they are up! They want out of the cribs STAT! That means our day is starting about an hour and a half earlier than normal.

*Both are taking 30-60 minutes to fall asleep. With binkies they would quiet down in less than 10 minutes on most nights

*Jake has napped for about a total of 3 hours since taking them away on Saturday. No naps along with a shortened night time sleep means no fun for anyone.

Now the question is what to do. Press on even though everyone is stressed and tired? Wait it out to see if things settle back down? I go back and forth by the hour. I REALLY REALLY want to give them back. Everyone was much happier that way. As a mom of multiples I have no qualms saying I need that downtime everyday. Naptime maintains my sanity. It gives me time to do laundry, prep meals, unload the dishwasher, pay bills, and make a few phone calls.

For some reason I'm just having a hard time letting myself off the hook. I feel like we have to finish what we have started. That if we don't stop it now that it will be that much more of a struggle when they are 2.5 or 3 years old. I worry that the pacifiers could interfere with the proper development and growth of their bite and jaw. AHHH...I just don't know what to do.

The boys played outside for a bit today and as Jake was coming towards me from a distance he looked so little and tiny and I thought to myself that he still looks like such a baby. Babies need their binkies :(.