Bye bye binkies

After watching Supernanny on Friday evening and seeing two four year old twins with binkies I thought we might want to try and do away with ours. Thankfully the boys have only used their binkies at nap/bedtime since they were about 9 months old but they still LOVE them. I think part of the reason they don't really fight nap/bedtime is because they get their binkies.

We tried it for the first time with yesterday's nap. Anderson seemed okay with it, definitely not happy but okay. Jake was pretty ticked off. By the time we closed the door he was screaming and continued to scream for an hour and a half. About 20 minutes into the screaming, Anderson joined in and he screamed for about 45 minutes. Anderson finally fell asleep but not Jake. They were so upset about the whole situation that I think they lost track about what they were actually upset about. They screamed for milk, cars, getting up, socks off, but never for the binkies?!?!?!

At bedtime we stuck to our guns and tried again. It took a good half hour of chattering but they finally fell asleep with no tears. I put them down for their nap about a half hour ago and Jake is still chattering but Anderson has been quiet for about 15 minutes. They both asked again where their binkies were and I just told them we had to give them to the little babies that need them.

It looks like we are out of the woods with Anderson, he is doing great without the binky. We will just have to wait and see with Jake. If he doesn't nap today we are thinking we might give it back because at this point a well rested and happy toddler is priority number one in this household. But please.... don't tell Anderson!

Teeth...the good and the bad

Daddy and Jake

Edgar boys

Good News!! Anderson's abscess is finally looking better, almost to the point where you can hardly see traces of it! His gums look about 98% healthy but it has only been the past 48 hours. I took matters into my own desperate hands and started to rub a q-tip that was dipped in medicated mouthwash on it and it seems to have worked. It could be a total fluke, either way who cares! This is the most optimistic we have felt about it.

I'm not sure if I've said this before but the past month that Anderson has been on antibiodics we have had to wake him around 1 a.m. EVERY NIGHT to give him a dose. We don't stay up till 1 a.m., so this means setting an alarm, dragging out of bed, prepping the meds, and waking him up. I'm not a good sleeper. Once I'm up I have a very hard time going back to sleep. Kevin has been absolutely wonderful about doing it just about every night. I can count on one hand how many times I've had to do it and I am so grateful that he has excused me of that duty. What a guy and what a dad!

Today there was a bit of an incident. It has been been a week since Anderson has tried to bite anyone and before that I can't even remember the last time he bit. I thought we were phasing out of the biting but I was wrong. Today he and Jake were pushing cars around, a disagreement ensued, I thought I had solved the problem and proceeded to finish cleaning up breakfast. Seconds later I heard the familiar scream of Jake and I immediately felt my stomach drop to my feet. Anderson had bit Jake on the cheek and it was bad! I snatched Jake up and took him into another room, he was completely inconsolable and rightfully so. His cheek was red, swollen, and hot to the touch. When I put him to bed this evening it was still hot to the touch.

Anderson tried biting him again an hour or so later and he attempted to bite my Dad. I feel like I'm failing them both. Jake is such a sweetheart, I don't think the poor guy ever sees it coming and it's just not his nature to fight back. I feel like I didn't protect him. With Anderson I feel like I'm failing to give him the tools he needs to deal with his frustration and anger. It all happens so quickly, he goes from happy and jovial to frustrated and angry in seconds. I'm trying to balance showing him my disapointment and disapproval with trying not to starve him of affection. He is a very affectionate person, when it happens he knows he did wrong and wants me to hold him and reassure him. That is exactly what I want to do but I also don't want to undermind the seriousness of his biting. I'm trying to find that middle ground but I seem to have lost the map.

Quick update

Anderson went back to the dentist again yesterday. The decision was made to drain the abscess and continue with ANOTHER new antibiodic. Poor little guy had to be numbed up, and then poked with a needle to drain it. It looked a lot better yesterday after the draining but today it looks crappy again. So sadly we are back at square one.

Mr. Bear is back and other ramblings

We found Mr. Bear. Anderson was so delighted to find him that he actually welled up with happy tears. He was hugging him so tight and telling him "I found you, I love you!". I was so relieved.

I've been feeling pretty stressed lately....lots going on. First and foremost Anderson's tooth has me on complete tilt. He has been on antibiotics for over 3 weeks now, was tortured with a double root canal and he still has an abscess. He goes back on Friday for a follow-up and either way we've got nothing but bad news coming. I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that either A they continue him on MORE antibiotics which scares the heck out of me, when is enough enough. Or B they want to pull the tooth. I'm scared, what if this infection worsens and turns very serious. What if his permanent teeth are in some sort of danger and how oh how will I ever be able to bring my baby back to the dentist for another frightening procedure. I HATE THIS and just want some kind of resolution.

Another problem we've been dealing with is the expulsion of our family from our pediatrician's office. Yes, we were told that we were no longer welcome because of our decision to delay vaccinations. This is the same dr's office I went to as a child so I'm pretty comfortable there. The boys were vaccinated on schedule for the first 6 months of life and after much research and soul searching we decided (not lightly by any means) that we would delay vaccinations till we felt more comfortable. Our pediatrician's office has always given us a hard time about it, but we felt it was the best decision for our children. When we took the boys to their 2 year well visit we decided that we would start back up the vaccinations but at a slow pace so that by school age they would be up to speed.

Apparently the office made a new policy for 2009 and said that anyone who refused or delayed vaccinations were no longer welcome as patients. Maybe I was in denial or naive to think they wouldn't really kick us out, but last week they called me at home and told me it was official and to come pick up our records. So for the past few days I've been trying to network with people and find a new home for us where we will feel comfortable but that is no easy task as most people feel very strongly about vaccinating. I've been lectured on the phone by nurses, found myself in unwelcomed debates and in a mess of tears. I really have no interest in debating with people why we have chosen the path that we have. No one is going to convince me otherwise just as I don't plan on trying to change anyone else's mind to the contrary.

One thing I have learned as a new mother is that decisions regarding our children are extremely personal. Since becoming a mom my judgement of other parents has gone out the window. Parenting is tough, making decisions about the lives of little human beings is tough. We all have to do what we have to do to make it through the day and its not up to me to decide for another family what is right or wrong for THEIR family. In the end I think I have found a good place for us. The boys will go in two weeks for a physical and to meet their new dr.

The other stress keeping me up at night is the possibility of a close family member losing their job. I don't want to go into details for the sake of privacy but its really got me in a funk. Living in Michigan means that most people you know either work in the auto industry or for a company that depends on the auto industry. Damn these auto companies, I wish they had done a better job keeping their employees safe.

Weekend Update

Buzz Lightyear lightup shoes

Buzz and Woody wannabes

Anderson showing Mommy his new shirt

Watching the shoes light up

Jake lovin his new diggs

The boys are feeling better. Fevers are gone, appetites are returning but some crankiness remains. We had a busy weekend, the weather was decent so we stayed on the go. On Saturday we went to our very first gymnastics class. Anderson and Jake got to try the balance beam, uneven bars and a little spring board. They enjoyed themselves but seemed a little overwhelmed. There were a lot of children there and it wasn't the most organized class but at least they got to get out of the house.

Later in the afternoon we headed to Great Lakes Crossing for the Disney Outlet Store. The boys have been obsessed lately with Toy Story. They love watching the movie and saying "To infinity and beyond"! So we went to the store to see if we could find them a Woody or Buzz shirt to wear. They were having a huge sale so we were able to buy them 2 different Toy Story shirts, a Cars shirt, and Cars p.j's. We also bought them some Buzz Lightyear lightup shoes (not on sale)....we just couldn't resist. Kevin and I are so excited to take them to Disney in August! They have spent a considerable amount of time wearing them around the house to watch them light up. They even like to take them off, hit the bottoms and watch them light up.

Today we ran some errands and went to the park. The park close to our home isn't open yet, so we tried a different one. It has a smaller playscape which is more manageable for the boys. We don't have to hover over them so much and they enjoy their independence. We also took them for a walk on the trails. They touched some cattails, picked up acorns and watched a squirrel digging a hole. It doesn't take much, they are so sweet.

Tonight we had a major crisis on our hands. We have lost Mr. Bear. Mr. Bear is Anderson's lovie. He LOVES and ADORES Mr. Bear. We can hear him talking to him in his crib telling him "I love you Mr. Bear" all the time. We have no idea where he is. The only time Mr. Bear has left the house was to go to Anderson's double root canal. We never take him out because we don't want to lose him. So he has got to be somewhere in the house, but after turning the house upside down we still can't find him. Anderson took it like an absolute champ. He was sad and very disappointed, his little lip sticking out and trembling as I told him we just can't find him and he'll have to go to bed without him. He didn't freak or tantrum but it took him a good hour to fall asleep. Generally when we put him down he is out within minutes. I'm not sure what we are going to do?!?!?!

Ever have one of those days? We're having one of those weeks

Anderson rocks out

Holding on by a thread

Anderson and Daddy playing with playdough

Jake showing off his creation

Kev and his lil buddies

Jake showing Mommy his Mr. Potato Head playdough creation

Today was a challenge. Kevin and I are mentally and physically drained. We took Anderson back to the dentist so that the dr. could examine the seriousness of his abscess. The decision was made to switch antibiodics (for a third time) and see what happens. I REALLY don't want him to lose the tooth so I guess we have no other choice than to continue him on meds. Jake was still feeling crappy so it was a long day with him. He was understandably short tempered, moody, and whiny.

We thought if we could just get him to naptime and he slept a good amount that he would turn a corner. He was exhausted when we layed him down and after an hour the phone rang. I usually take the phone off the hook, but today I didn't. It woke him up and he was a blubbering, crying mess. It took a long time to settle him, he refused to go back to sleep and of course he woke his brother with all of the noise and resistance. That is when we went from bad to worse.

Jake was so tired he had trouble keeping his eyes open. We broke our TV rules and let him watch as much as he wanted. I was hoping he might fall asleep but never did. He cried over everything little thing. We got desperate and opened Christmas/Birthday gifts I had set aside to open during the summer when they needed some new stuff. This would work for about 10 minutes and then the chaos would start back up.

As the afternoon wore on, Anderson's lack of a full nap began to catch up with him. It was ugly. When we finally couldn't take anymore we decided an early bedtime was in order, even if it means we will be woken up tomorrow morning at 5 a.m. So be it.

:(

I've been procrastinating writing any kind of update to Anderson's double root canal because I just didn't want to re-live it. Today I felt like maybe I could do it without getting too upset but tonight after giving him a bath I lifted his lip to see if his abscess was completely gone yet and it was twice the size I have ever seen it over the past two weeks!

His procedure was completed on Wednesday. It was awful, they were running an hour behind, he was hysterical and drugged up, I couldn't comfort him or be with him in the way I wanted and by the end of the day I was feeling like I was in total panic attack mode. I literally felt like I was having a heart attack whilst decompressing from such an emotional day.

Tonight I called the emergency line about his abscess. We have to bring him back first thing in the morning. He is going to hate us. I can't even imagine what his reaction is going to be when we try and take him back tomorrow. Even worse I can't even imagine what will happen if they have to pull his tooth. I'd rather take the pliers to my own teeth with no anathestic then make him go through something so scary again.

Did I mention Jake has been running a fairly high fever today? Tylenol and Motrin haven't been able to break it, it still hovers around 101. We took him to the dr. after he complained of ear pain. The dr. said his ears are fine that his molars are coming in which is causing ear pain. The fever he is running is from a virus of some sort. Now we all wait to see who the next victim will be.

Grant turned 10 !

Kevin and I

Jake and Grant

Anderson and Grant

Jake

Anderson

Grant turned 10 this past week so today we headed over to his house to celebrate. The boys enjoyed the party, the people and most of all some sampling of ice cream. They don't get sweets very often, so when they do they really enjoy it!

Grant is really growing up quickly. He only had one gift to open, the rest were all cash and gift cards so he can buy the i touch he wants. Long gone are the days of toys and themed birthday parties.

There has been a change in plans for Anderson's double root canal. It has now been moved up by 2.5 weeks to this Wednesday. His abscess started to look worse not better after beginning antibiotics. He is now on new antibiotics and will have the procedure done sooner. I'm starting to really get nervous for him. The sweet thing has enjoyed his two visits to the dentist, he has walked away smiling with his balloon in hand. Now I feel like we will be betraying him, he has no idea what he is in for :(.